Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Upside Down, Inside Out
So... since this is a record of my families history, for prosperity and all that, I guess i have to blog about what has happened these past 3 weeks. There is good and there is bad. Life is upside down and inside out and better then it has been in a long time. Makes no sense I know. This post is about me. But on a side note, I just want the world to know that my kids have been so amazing through all of this that I gave them ice cream for breakfast this morning. Yep. Im that kind of mom.
So, it all began, June 27th. You see I had a small bulging disc in my back and some inflammation that was pinching off nerves in my legs. So i had pain. I was ok, I could still do everything, but I could be better. Talked to my dr, he suggested an epidural steroid shot. It was supposed to be awesome and I started making plans of all the things I could do after I got this shot. I was supposed to walk out of there in ten minutes, drive in 4 hours then be awesome for like the next year or so! I was gonna be the momma and wife I'd always wanted to be! Skateboarding with my kids, keeping the house clean because it hurt to do laundry, exercising, swimming, so many awesome things. Alas, it was not meant to be.
I went to the surgery center. Had a dr who wasnt lets say " on top of her game" and she ended up shooting me in a bunch of nerves and causing permanent nerve damage. Three weeks of excruciating pain, ( like Im being electrocuted 24/7) from the injection site in my back down both legs, and I can't really walk, defintely can't drive. I am now at the point where I can take care of the kids alone ( in a new way of course, much slower) and I have gone through alot these past two weeks getting used to a new life. I go see the neurologist august 2nd for testing to see exactly what nerves are damaged and to see if they can do anything about it. So now, I wait, and be patient, and do my best to have a happy attitude. Even though today, I really want to go to walmart and buy dog food. Silly, huh. Keith almost lost his job cause he had to stay home two weeks caring for me.... I couldn't even get to the bathroom alone, i would pass out from pain, my legs just didn't work. After two weeks in bed, then another week caring for the kids alone and resting constantly, I am able to walk across the house! With alot of pain meds of course. And Mt. dew. And my Father in Heaven. It would take a whole new post to describe the blessings that have come from this experience. In fact, I probably will write another post about that because it's important. It's really really important. Because with all that I've been through and my family has been through, we have been immensely blessed. We are doing this new life. We are working together and becoming closer and becoming closer to God in the process. It's amazing. It's worth the pain. I'm not sure why this happened to me, but I'm thankful because it has given me my priorities back, my family back, my husband back, it has given me a new life, an upside down, inside out life, but it's ok. I'm gonna be just fine. :)